Why is it that most men resist accountability? Is it because of terminology? Fear? Perceptions of what a “real man” is? Lack of friends to trust? Maybe it’s due to a bad experience with a small group. I believe it’s possible to have a little mix of all the above, which would make it easy for a person to feel justified in being an island to himself, a Fort Knox, a “protective” man.
However, I think the problem is revealed when we expose the true end of accountability, which is, glorifying God.
So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. (1 Corinthians 10:31, ESV)
When God is the highest end of my heart, the aim of my life, the object of my worship and affections, then I will do everything I can to know Him, see Him, drink of Him, receive from Him, and rest in Him. Accountability becomes a tool to break the chains of our affections that are welded onto whatever and whoever is promising a greater joy than God. Accountability is an idol crusher and a springboard for authentic worship and life-change.
Accountability is not about looking like a “strong Christian”. This terminology has unfortunately misled millions into not getting help, and therefore producing prideful, hurting, lonely people.
Accountability is not a way to become a better moral person that just looks different from the world.
Accountability is not a time of trying to pass the bible reading, memorization, evangelism and purity test.
Accountability is not a way to modify behavior.
Accountability is not a time to beat one another with sledgehammers. However, we use them to do battle sin and walls that must come down.
Accountability does not remove one’s man-card. Ironically, those that lift up manhood and shun accountability display a lack of manhood. They maintain an appearance of togetherness and strength out of fear of exposed brokenness and weakness. True manhood is a man who seeks to worship God with His whole heart, mind, strength, and soul, and knows that true Christian fellowship through the avenue of accountability will help facilitate this.
Accountability is a time of drinking deep from God through straws of confession.
Accountability is a time of restoration, rebuilding, and worship.
Accountability is a way to magnify the great grace of God.
Accountability in and of itself does not show one’s humble dependence upon God. Accountability facilitates the opportunity for humility to be expressed in order for God to be cherished, loved, and magnified.
The aim of the world, our flesh and the Devil is to sever God worship and replace it with anyone or anything else to worship. From the first days of our existence on earth we have sought to find happiness outside of God by not trusting Him. We built up our protective walls and made decisions behind them thinking we knew better and that God was withholding goodness. Because of the fall of man in the garden we, by nature, seek to remove ourselves from His great wisdom and counsel as we seek to build and protect our “kingdoms”. Even after we become new creations, we still turn to these tendencies of not trusting God daily.
Accountability says, “Brother, help me! I am drinking from broken cisterns, my passions are misguided, I need Jesus, I want to delight myself in the Lord…I’m worshiping lesser gods and need your help….bring a sledge hammer…bring three or four(cause I’m feeling like a “strong Christian”)…get me out of my self induced Fort Knox….get me off this island….bring your swords….let’s put on the war-paint….let’s look to the battle plans….let’s get at it…..let’s get at these roots deep within my heart that are choking out my joy and those around me…I.MUST.SEE.JESUS…WE.MUST.SEE. JESUS….let’s talk, confess, pray and trust in God’s promises together through the power of the Word and Spirit…let us worship Him together.
Or, to put it another way…Hey man, let’s grab breakfast or lunch later this week alright? I’d need to run some stuff by you.
Many men avoid accountability knowingly or unknowingly because they are avoiding God. Many men are avoiding accountability because deep down they are deceptively happy with self worship. Many men avoid accountability not knowing that God uses it to pour out grace, forgiveness and restoration that results in joyful worship.
May the Lord put men around us to fight for our joy in God, men who will go into battle with us and for us so that we may breathe deep the breath of God and exhale peace and praise.
My whole life I have sung Onward Christian Solider thinking of going out into the world, while the greatest battle is in my own heart.